Critique? I am a student in journal studies program. Opinions appreciated. What do you think?

The Glory of Amelia

Sitting in the middle of our living room, a high traffic area in our home, Amelia sat on her potty chair with a towel over her head and shoulders. She was visibly full of anxiety. Peeking from under the towel sporadically to see who was looking at her, she snapped angrily, “Top looking at me, turn yow head!” even when no one was looking.
The Winnie the Pooh potty chair with her fat little smooth pink thighs sitting on it were hard to miss as each of us turned the corner to enter that room… and yet everyone also turned and left the room quickly to give her privacy. She is the center of our world at this time.
She has big brown almond shaped eyes that change to hazel sometimes, but it is her thick dark lashes that intensify her expressions. My heart is her slave when she looks into my eyes and tells me about her life. Her thick soft strawberry blonde hair and pointed left ear resembles mine when I was her age, and even her flat square feet resemble Fred Flintstone’s and mine! Strangers ask if she is my daughter because she looks so much like me and I am a young grandma by many standards. I think it is our likenesses that bond us so close together. She seems to see her future in me and I see my past with the promise of a better life.
In most situations she is full of confidence, giving advice and sharing her ideas based on her vast three years of existence. This is part of her appeal. In commemoration of my love for her, my grandma mobile is set up for her comfort with a TV and car seat always ready to escort her about town.
Recently I was lost while driving and she was watching a DVD called “The Wonder Pets.”
“What’s wrong mama” Amelia was genuinely concerned that I seemed stressed to her. She randomly calls me mama, Becky or grandma because she is confused that the other grandparents each have a special name Nana, Bee Bop and Pop-Pop, and I do not.
“I’m lost” I replied.
“Top right here! Pull over!” Amelia ardently instructed. “I will call the Wonder Pets to save us!”
At that moment the operatic theme song played “The phone is ringing. The phone is ringing! There’s an animal in trouble. There’s an animal in trouble. There’s an animal in trouble right now” and then the duck with a lisp, named Ming Ming, sang her solo “this is sewious!”
I kept on driving and assured Amelia we will be fine, stating, “We don’t need to bother the Wonder Pets honey, I will find our way.”
Another ten minutes passed when I saw the same bridge we had passed under the first time I said we were lost. Frustrated and tired of being lost I stated to myself out loud, “I can’t believe I am so freakin lost!”
“We’re freakin lost again?” Amelia responded her most sincere and concerned voice. “This is sewious! I better call the Wonder Pets. Just top here grandma. I will call Tuck and Ming Ming.” She held up her toy Tinkerbelle cell phone ready to take control should I loose it right then and there.
“No, I will find our way” I insisted.
“Be patient!” Amelia ordered, as if worried I was going to make a sharp turn and drive off a cliff out of lunacy. She was stepping up to bat to keep order in the van.
Her passion and concern made me laugh, and my laugh seemed to assure her that I was actually okay. This is the glory of Amelia. Her innocent confidence based on her limited life is already primed to take charge when she sees fit. Should I ever feel down or frustrated, she is preparing to comfort me. We are in sync with one another just like Tuck, Ming-Ming and the guinea pig whose name I never can remember. I find comfort in watching her prepare to be in charge someday and glory in being with her now.

One Response to Critique? I am a student in journal studies program. Opinions appreciated. What do you think?

  1. I feel I have a full understanding of the “Glory of Amelia” after reading this piece. The characterization describes her well and it’s clear what the relationship is between the characters.

    The two different scenes seem disconnected from each other. The van and the living room are both distinctive scenes and it seems like there needed to be a reason to validate why they are both in this piece. I’m thinking that the “van” had a conclusion but the “living room” did not.

    A simply wonderful description of a child and her world. I think many of us can relate to the little back seat driver and this one proves to be helpful, funny and reassuring.

    The humor in this piece is subtle and is most powerful when the DVD corresponds with the actual happenings in the van.

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