My best friend, former high school beauty queen is in a very abusive relationship for almost 3 years now. Her boyfriend has pulled a gun on her twice, pulled a knife on her once, throwed bleach over her clothes, she has even awaken to him choking her. In the middle of the night he snoops through her cell(his cell is locked).He basically has her walking on egg shells. Sometimes he pretends to be such a nice person, then in a second he becomes a monster.He is also an alcoholic and is only 21. Every time something happens she comes to me and her family and we talk with her and try to get her out of it…….she pretends to be finished and goes right back. I am very frustrated and don’t know what to do. I feel like giving up on her. The thing that is so amaizing to me though, is that outside she pretends to be such a strong vibrant woman with such high esteem and i know its just a sad act. Can someone please give some advice. I have tried everything and I think time is running out.
-
Search It!
-
Recent Entries
- Chapped lips , infection ?
- How do I get rid of a bees nest that is hidden in brush?
- Please read and rate?
- How to phrase keywords for seo if i contain one word many times?
- comparison between an ant and a hexbug.?
- how do you tell your friends who think they are real gangsters that they are only wanna bes?
- I need tips on trying to get pregnant?
- Comedy central presents last night.?
- Question of evolved humanity?
- Arsenal 3-1……………?
-
Links
Explain to her the danger she’s in and how concerned you are for her safety.
Report Spam/Abuse
tell her boyfriend to eff off. if he threatens u, call police and report him
Report Spam/Abuse
Okay, just dont give up. Try to get her away. When she comes for help don’t let her go back. Either keep her there or take her somewhere he wont find her, but no matter what don’t let her go back!
Report Spam/Abuse
if u have tried to get her to leave him and she just keeps going back there is nothing left to do but to call the police or let her go. if she wont listen to u…maybe theres a reason she decides to stay that u dont know about.
Report Spam/Abuse
Oh I feel so bad for you and your friend.I would try to get her some counselling.I dont know what else will help.She needs to build up her self esteem again and then she will reliaze she is in a bad relationship.You are an amazing friend for sticking by her,she will appreciate u later.I hope she gets the help she needs.
Report Spam/Abuse
You need to let her know bluntly that she is in a very dangerous situation and that she could get hurt. You are only caring for her safety and your being a good friend. If her boyfriend does anything else to threaten her, call the police.
Go to this website:
dmlive.com
Report Spam/Abuse
Only she can make the decision to get out. Inform her, let her know exactly what she can do. Give her the number of the women’s shelter, the police. If you are offering to house her with you then let her know that she can call whenever she needs out and you will help her.
However, you can’t make that final decision for her. It sounds like you’ve done all that you can already. She’ll reach her point sometime and I know you worry that it will be too late, but you can’t make her leave him.
Find a book or movie that is about the mindset of an abused woman and how they feel like that have to stay…something like that might open her eyes.
dmlive.com
Report Spam/Abuse
It’s impossible to help someone that refuses to help themselves. It sounds like you and her family have done everything you can to help her besides getting her into therapy. With him being an alcoholic at such an early age, his anger and violent actions will only lead to further distress for her as you well know. Has she ever called the cops on him? My guess is no. And they are probably alone whenever he decides to pull these actions. All you can do, it looks to me from here, is to sit her down one final time, with a paper and pencil if necessary, and discuss/& write down what she thinks is the positive things about the relationship and why she puts up with his behavior. Then do the negative things. Make it every clear to her that you all love and care for her very much but you can’t stand seeing her treated like this and that you will not be there again when she needs you. All because she keeps going back to him despite your efforts to stop that behavior. If she goes back and calls again, don’t offer to help. If she’s been beaten or something, call the cops and have them check her out. You have done all you can. The rest is fate for her I’m afraid. Either good or bad.
dmlive.com
Report Spam/Abuse
well i wish i had the answers for you.. sounds like its getting worse from the way you write this downl…. heres one idea get some true story movies about women being in an abusive realtionship.. you know lifetime shows alot of them.. have her come over for a day and watch a couple of those that dont get out in time sometimes seeing something actually happen to someone else opens ones eyes wider.
you might even consider taking her on a trip with you somewhere … tell her you just wanted to have a couple of days away from the world and want her to come with you tell her other half somewhere where you wont be going.. tell the parents where you are really going maybe even have them come up after a couple of days.. maybe being far away at a safe distance and free to live agian without being watched will give her some more confidence..
dmlive.com
Report Spam/Abuse
It sounds like he has beat her down and she feels trapped. She is giving the outward appearance of being okay but inside she has no self-esteem and is probably terrified of him.
My suggestion would be to hang in there for her. Even though you are frustrated now is not the time to give up because now is when she needs you the most.
If she has not been calling the police when he has done these things to her she needs to. Domestic violence is not tolerated and he should be taken to jail once the police can verify there has been abuse.
Once he is out of the home and in jail, I would pack up her things and get her out of there. There are shelters that could help her and give her counseling. If she is not comfortable with going to a shelter she will need to find a friend or family member who is willing to take her in. He is dangerous and needs serious help and she needs to realize that it will only get worse for her if she stays.
I hope everything works out for her. You are a good friend because you are trying but don’t give up.
Good luck.
http://www.baddteddy.com/abuse/abuse_shelters.htm
Report Spam/Abuse