Tag Archives: boney m

My family’s moved more times than I have fingers and toes for. My dad was in the military and when he wasn’t he was getting a promotion and having to move for his job. By the time I was eight I learned that it was pointless crying over moving. Friends you lose contact with after you leave (believe I’ve gone through so many never call backs and never write or type backs I literally have a list of ex friends who didn’t want anything to do with me after I left). So, I built walls and figured having a great deal of friends was more important than having friends that you think are going to love you no matter where you are and no matter what. So, I traded in myself for a sponge. I got good at all my favorite sports so popularity was always easy. People loved me and I thought I’d be happy. However now I don’t know who I am. It used to be that whenever I’d lose myself I’d lock myself in my room and listen to Boney M., Billy Idol, Soft Cell, Queens, or some Elvis Vinyl records from my grandpa. However, over the years I couldn’t even find myself than. People always tell me how they love how I’m my own person. It almost makes me burst out laughing. Since, all I really do is take the person I’m talking to and mirror them, the way they talk, the facial expressions, everything. People love talking to mirror images of themselves. I feel completely emotionless. I don’t really get mad, sad or happy. I just smile and let everyone assume I’m happy. I’m not even real around my own parents or family. I just regurgitate what they want to hear. It’s become so automatic I can’t even stop it from coming out of my mouth. I just like what other people like or I like what other people will like in the future in a sense that people think of me as a trend setter when in reality I’m just more of a society analyst.