Tag Archives: business function

Should I leave my beautiful fiancée Megan (Mee-Gun, NOT May-Gun) for her poor text messaging skills?

I will be at an important business function in Seattle, and she will be at my family’s estate in New York. As she tries to give me a crucial message via text on my cell phone, I will often not be able to fully understand her point! My goodness, I graduated with a 4.0 and I feel very compelled NOT to dumb myself down for these silly text message shortcuts!

I’m sorry, I laugh out loud, and I do not “LOL”. My goodness.

Did you realize that many of our most esteemed authors only a few hundred years ago put their prose to paper under the threat of persecution? The Queen’s English was only to be used by the elite! Now that it has been brought with great sacrifice to the masses, it is being mauled! I am absolutely unable to forgive my beloved Megan for this egregious offense!

Would I be within my rights to request a temporary trial separation while she perhaps takes an advanced English course at the Local University? I do NOT wish to lose this valued treasure of a woman. By my conservative estimates, she is 35.5% to 39.2% better than most women I meet on a daily basis in the United States are. The number drops to about 13.5% when I travel to France, but my point remains, she is a special diva.