Tag Archives: double doors

I’m going back to school tomorrow… Ugh. Could you please calm my nerves?

I was originally going to make this question a mile long, but I doubt that a lot of you need my stories to know that high school sucks. Ninth grade was truly the worst year of my life. (After the way middle school went, I was almost positive it couldn’t get any worse, but it did.) It almost destroyed me. And, thanks to killer queen bees, my social life is even more messed up than it was. I’m pretty much friendless within my school (All of my real friends live at least 10 miles away. I’m actually thankful that I’m taking too many classes to have a lunch.) My English class is going to be exactly the same (same difficult teacher, same oil-to-my-water kids, just one grade up.), as well as my schedule in general. I walked out of the double doors last year thinking “I’ll start over,” but that’s impossible in this town, when nothing’s changed, at least not for the better, in forever.

I know, I sound so bitter, and my plan to keep this short has kind of failed, but I really need someone to show me some glimmer of hope. Anyone?
Also, I know I sound like the sulkiest kid right now, but I’m only this way when I leave those hallways. I’ll smile all day (Not in a creepy way, haha.), only crying when I get home. Back when people actually talked to me, they told me I come of quite sunny, actually.
I know, that’s so pessimistic, but I always say “Next year will be different,” and it never is, no matter what I do. It’s just that all of the things that need to change to make my life better are beyond my control. And, I know that people say there’s a long life after high school, and I know that, at least for some people, there is, but I feel like if I can’t find happiness now, then I never will.