Tag Archives: out of the blue

I have dealt with depression my whole life and I have been through quite a lot. Recently tho I feel so much stranger than my normal ’bout’ of ‘nut case-ness”. I have the mostterrifyingg constant feeling of doom, so enormouss in my chest that im having problems with my heart and breathing (and im only 27). Every day I feel myself getting angrier and angrier and i find myself doing and saying things to others including my son that i dont mean nor want to say. I cant sleep. im hearing voices like out of the blue ill hear my name clearly enuff for me to be startled. i see shadows and have ‘feelings’ of something near me.. i have no ambition i do not want to do anything at all and i send my son away more and more even tho i don’t want to but i need to. It feels like there is no world out there .. i dont like people anymore even tho i am one person that has always loved too much i even have a bracelett i havnt taken off in three years with just the word love on it. I catch myself thinking horrible horrible unthinkable things and somethimes almost act. altho i know i am strong. Please can someone please help i do feel like this is a matter of life. oh yea also for some reason for the past month there have been swarms of flies and bugs on my first floor so i have been staying in my room funny thing is the first floor is the cleanest place in the house no trash or food anywhere so i figured this may be a physical sympton of demonic possision