Moronic Design is the theory that this planet and the life on it arose at some indeterminate past time through the actions of a creator, the exact nature of which is not known other than the fact that he, she, or it was a moron.
There is copious evidence for this position:
1. The human eye has a blind spot — and you can’t see it.
2. The continents keep moving around and running into each other, causing earthquakes, volcanoes, and other potentially fatal inconveniences.
3. African locusts have the nerves necessary to run their wings located in their abdomens, which is like having the switch for your bedside lamp in the kitchen.
4. We don’t want to get into the details of the human male prostate gland and urethra, but believe us, they’re problematic.
5. Pandas have five fingers and a thumb that’s all bony, making some natural thumb activities (e.g., hitchhiking) impossible.
6. The human appendix is of dubious necessity and sometimes explodes.
7. Compared with those of many other primates, human toes aren’t good for much other than nail painting.
8. You can’t go faster than the speed of light, making interstellar travel inconvenient at best.
9. Many animals don’t mind drinking the same water they go to the bathroom in (ew!)
10. Viruses are so weird that we can’t even decide if they’re alive or not and they serve no useful purpose, unless you consider killing, causing discomfort, or making an evil cosmological power laugh at meaningless suffering a useful purpose.
11. Quantum physics, which just makes no sense at all.
12. Insects are sometimes born with legs instead of antennae, snakes sometimes have an extra head, and there are conjoined twins all over the place.
13. Humans grow wisdom teeth, but often don’t have anywhere in their mouth to put them.
14. Pluto isn’t quite a planet and isn’t quite a rock, and has a seriously weird orbit.
15. A flounder’s eyes won’t stay put.
16. Leeches sometimes swell up so much with blood that they pop.
17. The bombardier beetle — what intelligent being would give weapons like that to a bug?
18. Some insect species have males that don’t live after losing their virginity.
19. Honey bees often die after stinging an enemy.
20. Cows, whales, and many other animals without toes have toe bones.
21. Animals that live in the water but can’t breathe water.
22. The human “funny bone,” which isn’t really funny at all.
23. Kiwis have wings that aren’t good for anything, not even eating.
24. Nipples for men.
25. Stuff in outer space keeps running into each other.
26. There is a type of lizard called the cnemdophorus, and every single one of them is female.
27. With alarming consistency, the most intelligent creatures in existence throw out the evidence of their senses and intellect in favor of beliefs that are hundreds or even thousands of years out of date.