the essay deals on my principal academic interest
Social studies and my never ending quest to learn all about it is my chief academic pursuit. Whether it is the psychology of a serial killer, the decline of the United States hegemony, or the 2008 presidential election. I enjoy the subject because of the values it has helped me learn such as the importance of learning and the drive to accomplish any task I set my mind to.
My fascination with social studies started at a young age. As a gifted child I would often times find myself bored and with nothing to do after I had finished the task my teacher had assigned. I always have had a natural curiosity about everything. So one day after I had finished my class work I stumbled upon the encyclopedias stored at the front of t he room. I really did not know what they were. At first they were just plain ordinary nothing special books to me. However as I started to flip through the pages stopping at familiar names and reading tidbits of data, they became much more than that to me they became the portal to a whole new world. I can still recall the first entry I looked up. It was Abraham Lincoln and as I was reading about all the glorious things he did for his country vivid images would surface into my head. It was as if I had been there and Abraham Lincoln himself was telling me his story. My school mates often times find a social studies course boring, but using the method I had practice since my younger years I still can not find it like that. History is never boring when you can picture what occurs. Acting out the events in my head would almost make it as if I was living through it. Having a tool like that just peeked my curiosity even more. That single Abraham Lincoln entry lead me to study the civil war, then other wars, then more complex terms such as interventionism and so on. The seed that the (arguably) best president in United States planted has now expanded to cover a myriad of branches in social studies.
Social studies has definitely given me a lot. Looking at it from the surface it has helped me win 3 middle school geography bees (6th grade through 8th grade), placed me in the top 100 geography students in the state of Georgia (7th and 8th grade), helped me capture over a dozen medals in academic bowl, and allowed me to attend the Governor’s Honors program this past summer, but more importantly and less visible is the spark it has ignited. Social studies shown me that being a life long learner is crucial to success and shown me that learning can be fun. As a result most of the reading g I do is just for the sake of learning something new. I consider myself a social studies know-it-all and it annoys me when someone asks me a question in that subject and I do not know the answer to it. I find myself researching the answer pretty quickly just so that I ill not be caught off guard the next time someone asks me that question. Besides making me an avid lifelong learner social studies has given me a motivation to strive to accomplish any goal I set and to work towards the things I believed in. Reading the life stories of men such as Colin Powell who from humble beginnings rose up to become the great man he is today.
Currently I am a member of my Principal’s advisory group as well as a member of Kathy Cox’s student advisory committee. I work hand in hand with my school’s principal on ways to improve our school in a variety of subjects ranging from ways teachers could be more effective to ways of promoting a school dance. With Mrs. Cox, I focus on the social issues plaguing the 1.8 million students of Georgia and ways that the problems can be addressed. I do not expect to cure the school system of all its grievances however I do see a need to reform the system a bit to make school as enjoyable to my peers as it is to me.
Social studies makes this all possible. Its complexities will continue to behoove me and intrigue me to learn more. Along the road to my mastery of the subject, its given me a few honors, but more importantly it has allowed me to question why things are the way they are.
damnnn!!!
looks like an A+++
Myself
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One problem I see right off the bat is you use “social studies” a lot, especially at the beginning of you sentences/paragraphs. Try switching it up a bit
. Also, take out some of the passive voice. Also, maybe lighten up on the corny “opening to a whole new world” and things like that, a little cliche.
Myself
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Understand your own purpose: Criticism, especially artistic, is subjective. What do you want to achieve by your critique? Do you want to evaluate an artistic work, or an objective business proposal?
Understand the purpose of the person whose work you’re analyzing: Most criticism goes off its target simply because the critic doesn’t take into account what the writer or painter wants to convey. The writer may aim for and hit the branch, while you may think he has actually missed the bird on the branch. Has the writing or painting succeeded in accomplishing its original purpose?
Know the alternatives: Research works related to the one you’re reviewing. Criticism can only be done by a standard: A thing is higher or lower in relation to something. Find out about contemporary writings and similar endeavors in past ages. If you are evaluating whether to buy a car from someone, find out how much other options like buying second-hand, or renting a car will cost you. If you can find nothing related, let the standard be your own vision of how the project should shape up, or how the originator of the proposal wants it to shape out.
Learn logic: Study how an argument is constructed, what premises are, and how the conclusion is reached. Then study the fallacies of logic, and practice pointing them out in your daily life.
Learn the critical jargon: Every field has different critical jargon. For example, in poetry terms like alliteration, enjambment, and the trochaic meter, show that you know what you’re talking about. These terms will help make your critique more concrete, and give you hotspots on which to focus your critique.
Use the GBI technique: The lateral thinking psychologist Edward de Bono states that we should list the Good, the Bad and the Interesting points.
Don’t just say you don’t like it, say why you don’t like it, and add suggestions to make it better.
Tips:
Don’t be absolute, yet don’t be timid in your criticism: Try to avoid absolutes like “never”, and use them only when you’re completely sure. However, at the same time, be assertive in your criticism. Think how much less motivating this saying would be: “Slow and steady, in certain cases, wins the race.”
Use libraries and the Internet, to find out information on the topic you’re critiquing. An uninformed critique is sometimes worse than one merely executed badly.
Ask for other people’s opinions. They most likely will offer a new perspective which could change your approach. Consider people both from different age groups and different occupations.
Practice critiquing, as you’ll get better at it. Take notice if others critique your critique.
You can something critique much, much better if you can actually do it. Only a writer can properly analyze another’s works, for example.
Read other people’s critiques in newspapers and books, and learn from their mistakes and strengths to improve your own style.
Be diplomatic. Your aim is not the person himself, but the proposal he puts forward.
Myself
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Why don’t you have MRs. Cox. read this. I can get a sense of you in the essay, but there are some fragment sentences, and other grammatical issues. Also, don’t call yourself ‘gifted’. It doesn’t sound right. IF you are a genius, it will show in your grades and your sat scores. Don’t state it.
Just say you were curious, inquisitive, or able to get your work done and then have time to do some self-guided learning.
Myself
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Too boring. Doesn’t have specific topic. After reading this I ended up with more question than answer. Is the subject about social environment in a specific place, or sociology itself or about the writer?
I find the essay confusing.
Myself
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Very good. You have well summarized your ideas. May be you can critique ideas and state your argument with an example.
Myself
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